The Comma
In the spirit of authenticity, I recently changed the name of my blog from “Change Bytes” to “However, Comma”. Why, you ask? Well, I can often be heard using the latter phrase in casual conversation and I want this blog to be just that, a casual conversation. It represents who I am - no fuss, no muss. I’m an incredibly simple person, but have always been a deep, reflective thinker. I am a writer of things and deeply passionate about using my life experiences to help position people for personal and professional success. For this reason, I host small gatherings to go deep on meaningful topics and design programs to empower people as they navigate change and life challenges. So, what in the world does all this have to do with a measly punctuation mark?
Listen, I’m completely aware most people don’t spend time thinking about commas, but I would argue our lives are merely a series of them. On first glance, they may appear inconsequential. But upon further examination, the power of the comma lies in the momentary pause. Commas not only allow sentences to breathe, but they bring clarity to words. As it is in life, pauses create the space required to better understand situations, so we can make more thoughtful decisions. Just think of the number of times you’ve blown right past the comma in your life or simply tossed a period where a comma could’ve been. When we eliminate the pause, we minimize the ability to move forward with intention.
We live in a fast culture, always speeding through life to get to the next best thing. The comma is generally an afterthought, a pause we typically only think about after we’re too overwhelmed to think or standing at a crossroad. Then, we wonder why we overreact, invite drama, and throw ourselves into an anxiety fueled depression. So, what if we paused on and with purpose? You know, inserted an intentional comma to stop, think, and strategize. Sound weird? It might, but intentional pauses create the required space to be, speak, and react with thoughtful intention.
Here are a couple practical examples you can use today to create commas across your own personal and professional spaces.
24-Hour Rule: I invoke the 24-Hour Rule when triggered by a person, action, or comment across my personal and/or professional spaces. I would venture to say we’ve all fallen victim to people who lack class or any sense of conscience when they communicate. This rule is important because it allows me to give myself 24-hours to formulate a thoughtful, non-confrontational response to an immediate situation or choose to disregard it. In doing so, I give myself the gift of decision. When I respond in the moment, it minimizes options and eliminates the opportunity to own and communicate a dignified response, on my own terms. When I protect my decisions, I own the outcome. But, when I give my decisions to others, they own the outcome.
5-Minute Principle: I use the 5-Minute Principle often as I am a firm believer you teach people how to treat you. If you want to pet one of my biggest peeves all you have to do is be someone who is consistently late to everything. By the way, before we go any further, being late is a choice. Although I know many of these people, I refuse to apologize for saying this in an open forum - it’s an exceptionally rude habit. With that being said, meetings are one place where it’s impossible for these “laters” to hide, so I encourage you to try the 5-Minute Principle in your next meeting. If a meeting organizer or individual you invited to attend a meeting doesn’t join the meeting within 5 minutes from the start time, exit the meeting. Following your exit, request a re-schedule at their convenience. The important part of this principle is accountability, without judgement. I do not re-schedule meetings for people who don’t value my time, period. Instead, I insert a comma to create space for others to own their behavior and make their own decisions.
While both examples are wrapped in common sense, they represent one unified message about those darn commas - space matters. When we pause, we give ourselves the space required to show up better. However, it’s what you decide to do following the comma that truly determines the outcome.
